Reflect: Echoes in the Silence

Today is May 18th, 2025. Few months back, I created a pseudonymous identity for my online presence. Everything went fine for a one and a half month. But recently, I took a long break from the internet. My pseudonymous identity went stale. I was apparently locked out of my Google account.

This break allowed me to reflect on my past, present and future. I was able to reflect on my journey. What I wanted to be and where I am today. Ever since the beginning, I have been blocking my feelings. Or possibly I never felt anything? Either way, I have now started to fell many things. Some thoughts make me feel proud of my past. Some make my feel awkward. And a lot of the remaining thoughts, make me feel guilty... Today I recalled a lot of my past memories with my Parents, Family, Friends and Colleagues.

I call myself a Jain, but I hardly follow or believe in any principles. I call myself an Indian, but I have no patriotism. I am a son to someone, a brother to someone, a friend to someone. But I do not recall fulfilling any duties for such a role. Even if I did, I do not recall...

I never accepted a Guru. I only had teachers, faculties and mentors. I never took friendship seriously. I only had classmates, roommates and colleagues. I have a family, but no one I talk to. I live in a society but never contributed to one.

Today, my Mind, is in some state unknown to me. I am not depressed. But I do not feel good. I am not sad, but I am not happy. I am neither angry, nor jealous. I have lots and lots of thoughts in my Mind. I am not confused, but I am also not looking for clarity. I am a Perfectionist, but I do not have any definition of perfection...

Thanks & Regards,
Araqode Arishtpal

Echoes in the Silence

The screen went dark, the feed grew still, A phantom self began to chill. No fleeting likes, no scrolling deep, Just silence where the pixels sleep.

From digital dust, a whisper rose, Of paths untrod, where feeling grows. The past unfurled, a vivid scroll, Some scenes brought pride, some took their toll.

A Jain in name, no faith embraced, An Indian born, no pride I traced. A son, a brother, friend unknown, The seeds of duty never sown.

No guiding voice, no hand to hold, Just faces fading, growing cold. A family near, yet worlds apart, No shared endeavor of the heart.

My mind adrift, a restless sea, Not sorrow's depths, nor ecstasy. No rage, no envy's bitter sting, Just thoughts that rise, and softly sing.

No clarity sought, no tangled thread, Perfection's form, undefined, unled. So in the void, a truth took flight, The dark revealed an inner light.